


Just One More Before We Go

by Pigeon_theoneandonly



Series: Ben Shepard [4]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Mass Effect 3, Short & Sweet, these two guys are killing me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeon_theoneandonly/pseuds/Pigeon_theoneandonly
Summary: Late in the war, Kaidan asks Ben Shepard if he has any last wishes.  Ben gives a surprising answer.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: Ben Shepard [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910524
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	Just One More Before We Go

Ben Shepard and Kaidan Alenko sat in the skipper’s quarters, still half-dressed in their hardsuits, eating cold noodles at the coffee table and drinking the last of Shepard’s beer. Five months into the war, this sort of night was more common than not. Missions disrupted the rhythm of the ship, crew mess included. They’d learned to make the best of it.

“Never thought we’d be back on Noveria,” said Kaidan, setting down his bowl and reclining on the couch. His arm slid around Shepard’s waist.

Shepard took a long sip from the half-empty bottle and wiped his mouth. “At least you didn’t almost drop a Mako down a ravine this time.”

“Hey, my driving skills are legendary.” He reached for his own beer.

“Legendarily bad.” Shepard winced, rolling his shoulder and rubbing at the muscle.

The bottle paused halfway to his mouth. “Still bothering you?”

“The armor stopped the bullet, but it left one hell of a bruise.”

“It’s not like you to let your barrier drop.”

Shepard sighed. “I got distracted. Just for a second there, when Cerberus flanked us.”

“Gah. Don’t tell me this.” Kaidan folded his free arm over his chest and glanced away.

The near misses were adding up. He bit his lip, and took another drink. “Okay.”

A minute passed, and then another, in silence save for the quiet rush of water through the fish tank filtration. This small tension between them was as familiar as the cold food and late nights. Shepard wasn’t at all used to anyone being afraid for him. But then Kaidan relaxed slightly, the sagging of a body worn out from combat and relieved to be free of it, and looked back at him. “If you knew you were going to die out there, if you were absolutely certain of it, what would you do?”

That came out of left field. “What would I do?”

“Yeah.” He shifted on the couch. “Last wishes, regrets, whatever.”

He didn’t seem especially serious despite the nature of the question. And maybe it was an appropriate topic, considering. What else was there to do with the despair enclosing them but make small talk about it? 

None of his talk about this was small. Shepard looked down into the bottle. “It’s not fair to you.”

Kaidan’s eyebrows bunched together. “What is it?”

He shook his head. Kaidan sat up a bit, and touched his arm. “Ben. You can talk to me. Whatever it is.”

“I want to get married.” It spilled out without conscious thought, something he’d kept stoppered inside for so long without realizing, that this simple prod brought it out.

Kaidan blinked. Shepard licked his lips. Because now he had to explain that, and it was like articulating color to someone who couldn’t see. Something he’d felt all his life, an essential part of him, that he’d never tried to put into words. It just was. Sure as breathing. “I’ve never had a family. I tried, a few times, but it didn’t stick. At the end of the day, it’s always been just me. I’ve always been alone. I don’t want to die that way.”

He took a breath. “I want to call myself your husband. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, whether it’s two days or two months or sixty years. When I meet your parents, that’s how I want to be introduced. When this is over and they write biographies about me, I want you on those pages. And if I die, I want to be buried as your husband.”

Kaidan stared. “I was going to say I’d like a cheeseburger.”

It was such a non-sequitur that Shepard couldn’t help laughing. The first chuckle had barely left his mouth before Kaidan leaned in and kissed him, smoothing his hand in along his cheek, lingering on his lips. “If that was a serious proposal, you know my answer’s yes.”

“But—” Shepard wasn’t sure it had been a serious proposal. He’d meant every word. But he’d just been talking. “Your family won’t be there. I can’t ask you to leave them out.”

“We’ll take a picture.” Kaidan folded his hand into his own. “The most important member of my family is right here.”

Something held tight and close inside him unwound all at once. He couldn’t speak. So he kissed Kaidan again, and felt him curl against him, fitting their bodies together, comfortable as it always had been, and always would be.


End file.
